


The Hit to Fit Reality

by radiantbaby



Category: Duran Duran
Genre: (I was so naive back then), Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anal Sex, Anger, Angst, Band Fic, Big Thing era, Blow Jobs, Catholic Guilt, Drug Abuse, Drunk Blow Jobs, Dubious Consent, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, Erectile Dysfunction, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, GROUPIE SEX, Hand Jobs, Jealousy, John calling Simon 'Charley', M/M, Nipple Play, Not Beta Read, One-Sided Attraction, RPF, Rape/Non-con Elements, Real People Fic, Recreational Drug Use, Rough Sex, Sad lack of enough lubrication, Sexual Dysfunction, Slash, Struggles with Sexual Orientation, Unrequited Love, erectile issues due to drugs and drinking, fic ghosts of my past, toxic masculinity, warning for lack of brit-picker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-14 22:52:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7194155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiantbaby/pseuds/radiantbaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, this is basically a fictional snapshot of some 'Big Thing' Era debauchery, replete with slash-y sex, groupie sex, rough sex, and explicit drug and alcohol abuse. Enter at your own risk.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <b><span class="u">Warnings/Content</span>: Explicit sexual content, angst, explicit references to past and present alcohol and drug abuse, non-con elements (arguably dub-con, but I'm also saying non-con to be safe), one-sided reluctant slash and struggles with sexual orientation (seriously, John has some real issues here -- that seems to be a running theme in my old slash stories and makes my present-queer-self very sad), Catholic guilt, some unfortunate toxic masculinity, unhygienic sex in a hotel kitchen, language/swearing, and, wow, definitely not enough lube (Oh, young!me with her lack of knowledge of anal sex logistics. Bless.).</b></p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hit to Fit Reality

**Author's Note:**

> Updated Author's Note: So, I'm doing a small project where I'm finding all that embarrassing fanfic from my youth (mostly my 20s) and uploading it here to have it all neatly archived in one place. This particular fic was written back, I believe, sometime in 1999 (the original date is lost to the bowels of a long-gone computer). Anyway, that was back when I was still writing tons of Duran Duran RPF (my first fanfic fandom, actually) and John Taylor was still a solo artist. I didn't have a Brit-picker back then, nor a beta of any sort, so apologies in advance for any grammar/spelling/punctuation/etc errors. I considered editing these fics, tidying them up for mass consumption again, but I decided in the end that I sort of just want to keep them as they are: a snapshot of my past writing (however bad or good it was). [Actually this one was edited slightly as it was basically just a few HUGE WALLS OF TEXT, so just for aesthetics, I broke up the sentences much more]. Anyway, in short, be gentle. I was a wee new writer back then -- a babe in the woods of fanfic, as it were.
> 
>  
> 
> **[ Oh, and another important note: It was my fanon for a long time back then that Simon was in unrequited love with John. John had played around with him sexually sometimes in the past, but it was usually never more than just experimentation or loneliness for him, whereas for Simon it was more. _I guess_ this is what I was trying to portray back then in these fics, but wow, it was...awkward and sounds vaguely homophobic to my ears these days. I'm not homophobic at all, by the way. I'm even happily married to a woman, FWIW, and very out and proud, so it's especially unnerving to me to read nowadays.] **

The lights were pulsing, the roar of the crowd was under his skin and he sang to his microphone like some lover. The air was thick with electricity that flowed through everyone – the band and the audience. The energy was mounting, the cries and screams a cacophony of sounds winding their way around him, almost caressing him. 

It was no wonder that performing always got Simon so sexually aroused. 

He looked over on the stage and saw John grinding against his bass guitar, in an ecstasy of his own. John’s head was bent slightly back; his hips were writhing against his bass. A faint smile crossed his lips and his eyes were closed, playing the rhythm of the band, with his own sexual rhythm taking lead. Simon felt a twitch in his groin as he watched him transfixed and then bounded over to him. Putting his arm around him, he belted the final words of the song. John, briefly coming out of his stupor, grinned inanely at him. 

There was something about John’s smile that turned him on so much more. He had a vacant look in his eyes and they glistened lasciviously. 

Simon then looked before him and saw girls clamoring up to the stage, doing everything they could to get John and his attention. He playfully flirted back with the crowd, sending them into their own pleasure. One girl up front fondled her breasts as she smiled up at them. Simon and John smiled at each other knowingly.

The show ended shortly thereafter and they rushed to their minivan to go back their hotel. On the way, John pulled out a vial of coke and Simon and him partook in it. The rush from its high was mesmerizing. The world crystallized before them and all intellectual thought rapidly passed through their lips. Philosophy, art, literature – all subjects were clear to them as they bantered back and forth in the anonymity of the minivan. 

Nick merely looked on, rolling his eyes at how chatty they were, blissfully sipping his Chablis. 

Nick wasn’t very big on the idea of cocaine, though Simon and John often spoke of how wonderful it made them feel. "You feel like a God" John once told him, breathless and excited during a high. Nick couldn’t help but be a bit curious, but decided to stick with his liquor and the occasional hallucinogen. 

When they arrived at the back entrance to the hotel John and Simon ran through the corridor making all kinds of childish racket. Nick just fell behind, a bit too tired from his performance and too sophisticated to take part in what he felt was a drug less worthy of him. 

Once upstairs, they went towards their respective rooms, Simon following John into his. John was in a drug-induced daze, contemplating the universe around him and was almost startled to see Simon coming through the door behind him. 

"Eh Charley?" he asked, rubbing his hand over his face and licking the remnants of the coke still left on his fingers from handling the vial earlier, smiling. 

Simon closed the door behind him and in one fluid motion had John pinned against the wall. 

John laughed heartily, "Charley, Charley, what are you doing?" he said snickering. 

Simon was against him pressing his hardness against John’s thigh and beginning to suckle and nibble at his exposed neck. John let out a long, guttural moan. 

"Si-Simon?" he managed to stammer. 

Simon pulled back and looked him in the eye as if sizing him up. He cocked an eyebrow and asked "Wot?" 

Simon’s hand moved up to slide between the open part of John’s shirt. John’s chest had started to grow a delicious patch of hair in recent years and John had flaunted it wearing low-cut shirts or unbuttoning his top buttons. 

This had always turned Simon on. 

As his hand slid over his chest, he stopped to pinch John’s erect nipple. John laid his head back against the wall and closed his eyes with a deep sigh. Unconsciously he pressed himself into Simon, writhing against his body, rubbing his growing erection against Simon as he pinched his nipples hard. 

John always enjoyed a little pain play and with Simon he was entering a realm of pleasure that he wasn’t too sure he was comfortable in sharing. 

Simon moved closer to John, his hot breath now over John’s mouth. "I want you," he said, sealing his offer with a kiss. 

John kissed him back tentatively until Simon’s hand slid down and played along the waistband of his trousers. He then darted his tongue in and out of Simon’s mouth with much earnest. He was intrigued with the feel of Simon’s lips against him, much more rough than any woman he had ever been with, but so inviting, so eager to please. 

Simon began kissing John’s neck again, suckling and biting as he unbuttoned John’s shirt. 

"Is this how you treat all the girls?" John jokingly asked in a mock feminine voice. 

Simon only snickered as he began to kiss down John’s body, covering his chest with kisses as he took off his shirt. He concentrated mostly on his nipples, suckling and biting them as well as John moaned loudly. 

"Yes, right there, Simon. Yes, that’s it," he breathed through semi-clenched teeth as Simon flicked his tongue across them. 

Simon put his hands on John’s thighs, his fingers splayed as they moved upward towards his groin. John gasped as Simon’s hands enveloped his cock. Simon was almost disappointed to find it only half-erect, the antitheses of his own straining cock. John was briefly self-conscious about it as well, but that soon left him as Simon started to stroke him through the leather that held him. Simon then accidentally pulled the button off John’s trousers in an eager attempt to quickly get the rest of his clothes off. 

As old friends, they both laughed about it. 

Then Simon slowly slid John’s trousers off, trying to softly tease the flesh of his thighs and legs with his fingers as they came to rest at his ankles. He then cupped John’s balls in his palm and deftly slid his cock into his mouth. 

They moved slow at first, Simon moving his mouth up and down his shaft while sucking and flicking his tongue against the head and John bucking his hips, pushing himself deeper and deeper into Simon’s mouth. As things grew more intense, John moved himself faster, grabbing onto the back of Simon’s head with his hands. 

But John was frustrated. Ever since he’d been on his coke binge since the beginning of this tour, he was unable to neither maintain an erection nor even have an orgasm most of the time. As Simon suckled him, he felt more and more out of control. His cock was fluctuating through many levels of flaccidity and hardness. Angry, he finally pushed Simon’s head away from him and then slid down the wall to the floor as Simon looked up at him dazed. 

John was visibly upset. Simon reached over to him and pulled off his pants from his feet and his shoes and leaned in to kiss him, but he was pushed away again. John looked as if he were a wounded animal. Simon then took his own clothes off as John just sat and stared blankly at him. 

John was sitting against the wall, his knees up towards his chest, his skin glistening beautifully with sweat in the half-light of the room. Simon slid his legs through John’s, under his knees and against the wall. Then he reached behind him to his jacket and pulled a condom from his wallet. He offered it to John saying "Put it on me." 

John held it between his thumb and forefinger and looked at it for what seemed like a couple of minutes. He seemed to almost be studying it or trying to grasp that it was a reality. Then he tore it open. 

He looked at Simon who seemed almost be studying him and reached down slowly unrolling the condom over Simon’s cock. Simon rested himself on his hands behind him and moaned as John began to stroke the length of him. In contrast to John, he was so hard that he felt as if he would explode at any moment, but he slowed his breath to prolong his pleasure. John had taken his cock into his hand and touched him only as a man knew how – rough and strong, but soft in the right places. Simon began to buck his hips against the grasp of John’s palm, reveling in his touch and then reached his hands under John and pulled him towards him. 

As he rolled back, he pulled John on top of him. John mounted him, slowly sliding down the length of him, gasping and grabbing onto Simon’s arm. "Oh my God" he breathed, trembling just a little. 

Simon slowly rocked his body, giving John’s body the chance to accommodate his size. 

At first it was only Simon who was moving as John just sat upon him enjoying the pleasure. "Mmm, faster" he then groaned, grabbing onto Simon’s hair. 

When Simon’s speed wasn’t satisfactory for him, he then moved himself. The two of them were rolling against one another crying out in pleasure as John’s cock started to strain from hardness itself. 

"Oh, make me come, make me come, please!" he pleaded as Simon took a hold of him and vigorously stroked him. 

John flung his head back, grunting like an animal, shaking from the pleasure. "Yes, oh God, yes" he kept repeating, riding Simon faster and faster. 

Then he tensed up, his muscles clenching Simon, and ejaculated over his chest with a whimpering cry. It was the strongest orgasm he had had in a long time – especially after weeks of hapless groupies and finally his own hand being unable to get him off. He collapsed onto Simon, breathing heavily against him, his face buried in his hair. Simon wrapped his arms around him, turning him over onto his back so that he was on top of him. 

Simon thrust deeply into him, now shaking a bit himself. 

John was in a daze, feeling only the pressure of Simon riding him and the buttons of Simon’s jacket pressing uncomfortably into his back on the floor. He stared at the ceiling helplessly as Simon buried his face into his shoulder blade, moaning, as his rhythm became more steady and fast. 

Suddenly Simon’s body shook and he called out, muffled by John’s flesh under his mouth. He collapsed against John on the floor, his own breathing heavy and labored. John was panicking, his sobriety was hitting him and he wasn’t quite sure how to deal with what had just happened. "Okay, mate. Enough" he simply said, sliding himself out from under Simon. 

He grabbed his clothes and dressed quickly as Simon watched him quietly from the floor. He patted his pockets for his keys and then quickly left the room.

John didn’t know where to go, but he couldn’t stay in his room with Simon, not after what just took place. He made his way to the elevator and once safely inside, scrambled to find more coke in his pocket to cope with this. There was very little left. 

_Hotel bar, there must be a hotel bar_ , he said to himself. 

Once downstairs, he snuck past fans, hanging his head low, wishing he had remembered his beret to conceal himself. He made his way quickly through the darkness of the bar to a booth at the far corner. When the waitress came to his table, he ordered a martini and tipped her high. She had dealt with enough of his kind to know what that meant – make sure he’s taken care of, but left alone. 

Drinking his drink, he put his hands to his temples. He was trembling. Every time he closed his eyes, all he saw was Simon’s face contorted in pleasure before him from when they shared their sensuous fuck. He grabbed the candle in front of him, swirling the liquid wax around, almost trying to hypnotize himself into another train of thought. 

It did not work and only putting out the flame by dousing it with wax came out of it. 

He started to reach for his lighter to re-light it, but decided he wanted to hide in the darkness instead. He was lost in the whole recollection of the evening, when a voice pulled him from his thoughts, "Hey man, you got a cigarette?" 

He looked up to see a busty brunette leaning across the table, smiling at him. She was wearing a low-cut dress, which exposed her nipples as she leaned over more to speak to him. 

"You look familiar, are you one of those soap stars?" she asked, pushing an errant of hair behind her ear. 

"Something like that" he replied, wearily. 

She slid into the booth beside him, her nearly exposed thigh sliding up against his. "Cigarette?" she repeated, making a gesture miming smoking. 

John was annoyed by her crassness, but turned on by her nonetheless. He reached in his pocket and pulled out his pack of cigarettes and lighter. 

He started to just pull one out for her, but decided on one for himself as well. They tamped their cigarettes against the table and then he lit hers for her and then his. She sucked on her cigarette seductively, eyeing him. "You’re pretty cute for being alone, what’s your deal?" she asked him. 

She was blunt and it caught him off-guard. He had been slipping back into his thoughts of the evening as she moved to put her hand on his thigh. He shot her a look, sipping on his own cigarette. 

"You wanna play with this?" he asked her, referring to himself with much machismo. 

He felt so out of character, but almost felt as if he needed to "reaffirm his manhood" after what had transpired earlier. Besides this woman was making it quite easy for him. 

"Hmmm, ‘play’ would be nice," she replied, caressing his thigh closer and closer to his groin. 

He ached to be touched by her, as her finger nails tickled him. He looked deeply into her eyes and then moved his lips to hers. She put her other hand behind his head, pulling him close as they kissed. 

When they broke away from one another, she said, "We should go somewhere private" while caressing the bulge in his pants.

It was early in the morning and the kitchen had closed some time ago, so the two of them slipped through the swinging doors there. When they got inside, John lifted her up onto the cutting table, spreading her legs. As they kissed, he rubbed her thighs with his hands. She reached down and unzipped his pants and pushed them and his underwear down past his hips. She then stroked his cock. 

John was having trouble again with an erection, perhaps because he was trying too hard. "I can’t do this," he said, backing away from her, his insecurity taking hold. 

"Oh honey, you’re fine," she said to him, sliding off the table onto her knees on the floor. 

She took his cock into her mouth. Reaching over to the table to steady himself, he let himself feel the full sensation of her tongue and lips. After letting himself go, he was able to achieve the hardness he wanted. He pulled her up to him, putting her back up onto the table. 

He quickly slipped her panties off and entered her. Thrusting into her against the hard wood of the table, he tried to get what had happened with Simon out of his mind. He reveled in how he felt inside her and how she felt as her muscles gripped him when he stroked her clit to orgasm. He had pulled her dress down to her waist and suckled and kissed her breasts. It was as if he was trying to experience all of her womanhood, trying to remind himself that he was attracted to women. 

His experience had brought up too many questions, too much Catholic guilt. He was not ready for such emotion. Having sex in this dark kitchen with this woman who he didn’t even know the name of, he felt was proving to himself that he loved women. 

The delicate curve of her breasts, the softness of her ass and her insides, warm and wet, cradling him inside her. 

This was all he needed. 

He came with a deep grunt, pulling her too him tightly. 

After a moment of just sitting in the silence, the two of them discreetly dressed and went back to their respective rooms. John was thankful that Simon was not in his room still. He only wanted to sleep, as his bed beckoned him to a deep slumber.

The next day, apart from the occasional awkward glance, John and Simon acted as if nothing had happened. This made John happy, because he feared any confrontation that could be involved. 

He was paranoid as well, he felt as if everyone was looking at him differently, like they knew what had happened and that it was all a quiet joke. They flew to the next city, doing lots of cocaine and drinking lots of vodka. By the time they got in town for the soundcheck, they were well bevvied. 

Once on stage that evening, it was the same sexual dance with the audience as there was every night – except now things were different. Simon looked over and John and Warren seemed too close all of a sudden. Simon felt a jealousy well up in him as he saw John laughing and playing around with Warren for a long duration of the show. He came over between them and every time they got close, he bounded between them again. Each time John would look at him oddly and walk to the other side of the stage. At one point Simon fell to his knees in front of John, his back to the audience. He was flicking his tongue wildly as he eyed John’s crotch. John knew what he was implying. 

Uncomfortable, John went back over to Warren.

After the show ended, back at the hotel Simon approached Warren outside his room. He had just taken a few shots of alcohol, so he wasn’t rational, only angry and jealous. He pushed Warren against the wall and said, "You mother fucker." 

Hearing the commotion, John and Nick came out of their rooms to find Warren and Simon in a vicious fistfight in the hallway. They pulled them apart, Nick taking Warren downstairs, trying to calm him down, and John roughly shoving Simon into his own room. 

"What the hell you thinking, Charley? Trying to get us kicked out onto the street or something?" he scolded Simon, taking a gulp of beer as he spoke. 

Helpless and much to John’s surprise, Simon lunged towards John trying to kiss him. John pushed him away and Simon fell to the floor. Simon had a crazed expression on his face, as if he were a wild animal. 

"Why are you doing this to me?" he pleaded as he reached out to touch John’s thighs. 

"Doing what? What the hell are you on, Charley?" John asked, moving out of his reach. 

"Didn’t what we did last night mean anything to you?" he whimpered. 

John stared down at him. He could not believe what was happening. 

"Charley, man. You need to go back to your room and sit down, mate. You’re acting really strange," he said to Simon. 

Simon was angry. John was being so uninterested in what had happened between them and this fueled his rage. Simon jumped up, tackling him onto the floor. The two of them rolled around punching and kicking each other, until John, getting the upper hand, grabbed Simon’s arms behind his back, pressing himself against him. 

"Is this what you want? Is this what your problem is?" he asked, pushing his cock against Simon’s ass. 

He had a fierce erection, much to his surprise. 

He then pulled Simon’s trousers down roughly as well as his own and shoved himself into him. As he thrust wildly against him, knowing he was probably hurting Simon because they had no lubrication, he felt primal and powerful. 

He kept saying "Is this what you want? Huh? Huh?" as he thrust inside him. 

Simon only whimpered in pleasure as his response, reaching behind him to grab the back of John’s ass the push him deeper inside. 

John was surprised at his own boldness as well as his hardness. The anger had turned both him and Simon on and they were on the floor in passion. He had his hand around the front of Simon stroking him with a rhythm matching his own frenzied movements. When Simon’s muscles tensed and he came, the pressure on his cock made John come as well. They cried out loudly, grasping against each other. 

John buried his head into Simon’s shoulder and Simon pushed his head back against John. The two fell onto the floor, spent. 

"So this is what this tour is going to be like then, Charley?" John asked, unsure of what was to be.


End file.
